5 Tips for Bullyproofing Your Child
When my five year old told me a much bigger kid in his class was trying to trip him every day as he walked to his desk, the mamma bear in me wanted to escort my son to class, ask “which one it is?” and do some bullying myself. But, alas, I am not a bully – and I know that it would be hypocritical of me to practice that which I tell my children is wrong.
Plus, I’m a grown up. (Yeah, there’s that, too.) I know that a lot of children are bullied in really horrific ways and that my son’s situation could’ve been a lot worse, and I just feel thankful that the situation was easily resolved with a phone call to the teacher.
However, this incident definitely got my wheels turning when it comes to safeguarding my children against the threat of bullying, and I’m happy to report that to this day, my twelve year old is bully-free and my youngest son’s experience was apparently an isolated event. So, what can you do to keep bullying at bay? Here are five tips for bullyproofing your child that you may find helpful:
Perspective. I make it a point to educate my children on the underlying meanings of peoples’ behavior, and I really think it has helped empower them against intimidation. For example, when we see a child showing a lot of aggression, I explain that it’s likely that child’s parents are very aggressive at home. Now when my children think of bullies, they think of children who probably have a rough home life, who are to be pitied more than they are to be feared. This zaps bully power completely.
Empowerment. Some parents make the mistake of teaching their children to be subservient, and to always assume the best of authority figures. Unfortunately, this type of thinking puts children in a powerless place. They cannot question things, and they must assume they will be taken care of by adults who won’t necessarily even be aware of bullying. Teach respect – not subservience.
Confidence. Studies show that many children who are bullied have low self-esteem and lack self confidence. Encourage your children to be themselves, and show unconditional love and acceptance.
Communication. Keep those communication lines open. Your children should feel they can share anything with you, without judgment or reprimand. Most victims of bullying are afraid to come forward and ask for help. You are responsible for initiating open communication with your children.
Involvement. Pay close attention to your children. Make it a point to know all about their friends, school life, and extracurricular activities. Get to know their teachers, and the other adults involved in shaping them. When you are highly involved, you are able to identify issues like bullying right away, so you can nip them in the bud.
Bullying is a scary thing. But it doesn’t have to be a threat to your children if you take these steps to empower them.
About the Author: Tomoko Creveling is a single father of 2 young girls who knows how important it is for children and adults to take self defense classes. These classes can help people of all ages to develop better self confidence, helping to diffuse difficult situations before they even develop.
Published in Education